Often healing is a slow, steady process. It is complex, not linear. It takes as long as it takes. And most of the time that is much longer than we wish it was.
But like all things in nature, there is a mysterious intelligence to it. And if we trust it and let the preciously vibrant petals fall to the earth, cut back what is no longer and then protect the new shoots and buds from being pried open, we may just find ourselves in a second bloom. And fruit will follow. You can’t manufacture that. We must trust the great mystery in the process.
I’ve been in a deep healing process for much longer than I wish I was. I’ve never been through anything like this. Perhaps you are too?
There was a moment during the birth of my son when I saw the protective barricades I had erected around each and every cell blast open. All borders were smashed to smithereens and scattered in all corners of the Earth. These ways of being that had served me at one time could not come with me into motherhood and mid-life.
I didn’t know it at the time but what would follow was deep and uncharted. And while I can now see the sea from the shore, those waters are still choppy. Past traumas have surfaced and it has felt difficult to navigate without a clearly defined map. So I am creating a map as I go. Perhaps you are too?
While it has felt difficult, I must accept that at the very same time deep miracles have occurred. Answers to questions I’ve been living into for many years. My chronic health condition has eased and I feel physically better than I have for over 20 years. And I have never felt more supported by my inner circle. What a miracle. And this is the thing about healing, it is not linear. It is not for the faint hearted. It requires deep courage, faith and support.
A wise elder once said to me that the secret to truly living is to allow yourself to die over and over again while you are still alive. That has always stuck with me. Globally we are going through that right now, collectively we are going through that right now. Societally we are going through that right now. Within relationships we are going through that right now. Perhaps personally we are going through that right now.
Perhaps the question is, are we willing to stay open enough to let those old, protective ways of being die in order to find a new, deeper connection (which is really what healing is) that is built on more stable, steady, loving, nourishing ground for all? Or do we desperately want things to stay the same because we are afraid of what is on the other side?
Healing is happening. It is different for all of us. It will take as long as it takes. But if we find a way to trust the process, this old world may birth another world for us all.