Soul callings, spiritual closets and joining the dots
Do you ever have those moments where you find yourself thinking… whoa nelly, how the hell did I end up here? I had one of those yesterday. I’d just finished up a Skype session with an amazing new mentor client which left me feeling totally filled up and grateful to do the work that I do. I looked around my office filled with my books, crystals, pendulums, altar and huge white dream desk with rose quartz handles, took a breath and did a little gratitude dance realising that I am actually right smack bang in the middle of my calling. Finally. Wow.
Just a couple of years earlier I was stressed out, working full time in advertising as a Creative Director (undercover Lightworker) and knowing that my life was not aligned with my soul… I remember looking at other people who had “found” their calling and assumed that they knew it all along, or if not, got this big sign and in that moment received some sort of step by step manual to make it happen (bonkers I know).
No matter how clear our callings are, the path is not perfectly paved before we step onto it, rather it demands that we take baby step after baby step in hope that the dots somehow join in the end.
When we follow the things that light us up regardless of the outcome, we will find ourselves right bang smack in the middle of our calling. So in tribute to all those little dots, I’ve spent this morning plotting out all of the little dots that have started to join for me.
▴ 1981 I was born. Unable to choose between the names Grace and Rebecca I was named Rebecca Grace. From as long as I can remember I had an unshakable knowing that God/The Universe existed. Both names (Rebecca and Grace) mean ‘Bound to God’ and ‘God’s favour’, something that took me 33 years to discover.
▴ 1984 My mum taught me to pray. I’d pray to The Universe pretty much every day, mainly asking to win at sport and get cool presents like a My Child, the latest 90210 jumper and a hot pink velvet slap band.
▴ 1985 A natural empath, I was conscious of absorbing other people’s feelings, fears and thoughts, able to feel the energy of a room but didn’t know what to do about it. I would send love to strangers and people I knew who were feeling sad. I assumed everyone did this.
▴ 1986 – 2000 Arguments made me emotional and so I struggled to get my point across without ending up in tears. The only way to get my feelings out was to run to my bedroom to write them out and then slam them on the kitchen bench in written form for my mum and dad to read. I had forgotten about this until earlier this year when my mum told my fiancé that she always thought I’d be a writer because I needed to use words to express my feelings.
▴ 1988 I started my first diary, recording my inner most thoughts. I’d go to my diary to hang out with my soul. I didn’t know what I was doing, only that it made me feel warm and fuzzy.
▴ 1994 I went to a Catholic girl’s high school and despite my personal relationship with God I had no idea what to say in church. I was paired with the only “non-Catholic” girl in the year to run the first year 7 chapel prayers. It didn’t go well. We ended up doing a dance to Abba’s SOS complete with high kicks, body rolls and hip hip ups on the altar. The rest of the school year and teachers watched on in shock.
▴ 1995 I experienced my first awakening as my heart cracked pretty much overnight. I started writing about the state of the planet, the soul, angels and past lives. My searching soul lead me to new age bookshops where I would hang out at for hours on end. I lied about my age to get a job at the local Korean Bakery so I could buy crystals and books on past lives, ancient wisdom and the soul’s journey.
▴ 1997 My first Hay House book (You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay) fell off the shelf and I had an inner knowing that one day I would one day write books for Hay House too.
I saw a ‘Shine’ card (designed by Leonie Dawson) in Living Harmony at Manly. There was something about this card that made me feel like coming home. I felt lighter and brighter just by looking at it. I knew that day that I wanted to inspire people to feel that way somehow.
▴ 1998 I read an article about Anna Wood, a young girl who took the drug ecstasy and died. I cry all night for the mother (Angela). It feels like my soul is cracked open and something in me has changed. The next day I get on the bus and buy the book ‘Anna’s Story’ and read it in one day (huge feat for me as I am the world’s slowest reader). The day after that I am at school telling my friend Jenny about how much the story has impacted me, pointing to a picture of the mother and say that I feel like I need to find her and hug her and do everything I can to make it all better. My friend Jenny then looks up and points to a lady across the playground and says, “That lady looks like her”. I look up and realize – It IS her.
Angela and I become friends and I spend hours listening to her talking about her daughter, the whole time sending her every ounce of love I can gather in my heart to make her better. In my school holidays I go with her as she talks to groups of people as a speaker. I notice how she is able to open the hearts and souls of people and pray that one day I will be able to do the same.
I start channeling spirits, the councils of light and spirits who have passed over in my writing. I keep it to myself but I do it every night without fail. I seek out psychics, healers and older friends in Sydney who I can share this part of my life with. I try to share these amazing experiences with people in my life but quickly find that most people think it’s weird. I IS weird. I feel caught between the life of a normal happy teenager and a deep soul that feels everything. I step into my spiritual closet.
▴ 2000 I decide whether to go to Uni to study media or go to uni to study psychology and metaphysics. I choose media and secretly plan to change the world through putting positive vibes out there as I can reach a mass audience.
▴ 2001 I meet Blair – the first person my own age who I can talk to about spiritual stuff. The night we meet we discover we are both reading the same book about following your soul calling. Instant soul connection. I also have a knowing that Blair will leave me and so make sure that we are just friends.
▴ 2005 Get a job in advertising and make a goal of becoming a Creative Director in London by the time I am 30.
▴ 2007 Move to London.
▴ 2008 – 2014 I consciously decide to work with the best spiritual teachers around the world.
▴ 2010 Start training to be a life coach
Have my first life coaching client. It goes ok but realize that I’m more of a healer and mentor than a coach. But feel like a fraud as I am the one who needs the healing as my ten year relationship is crumbling and life isn’t aligned. Get on knees and pray. A lot. Search for answers, seek counsel of psychics and healers.
▴ 2011 Become Creative Director of London agency. It doesn’t feel like I thought it would. Blair dies suddenly from Leukemia. Another dear friend (Wildcat) dies suddenly. 10-year relationship ends. Career no longer fits my soul. Dark night of the soul.
▴ 2012 Vow to not enter another relationship until I am completely healed. Six Sensory Teacher training. Devote myself to non-negotiable spiritual practice. Akashic records training. Soul profile training. Do my first paid intuitive reading. Co-found The Spirited Project with Robyn Silverton. Do our first Spirited Session.
Stay in London for Christmas (on my own to avoid seeing my ex). Feel sorry for myself. Then, see it as an invitation for fresh starts. Spend the rest of the holidays planning the launch of my new business and answering the callings of my soul for real. Decide to say YES to everything my intuition tells me, even if it doesn’t make sense (especially if it doesn’t make sense).
▴ 2013 Vow to do one thing every day towards building my business and being a published author. Do my first #RebeccaThought on instagram. Build my website www.rebeccacampbell.me. Write my first blog post then freak out at the thought of people in my life judging me. Decide, to keep writing anyway. Try to quit my job but boss lets me go down to 3 days a week. During the evenings and remaining 4 days I work on my business. Feel grateful that I am not in a relationship. Six Sensory Leadership training. Move into a share house and run my business from my bedroom. Fall in love again. Quit my job for real. Realise that it wasn’t advertising that made me work crazy hours, it was me. Do my first soul blueprint. Send book proposal to Hay House. Attend writer’s workshop one month later and submit proposal for book. Work 18-hour days to build my business saying YES to everything.
▴ 2014 Move into new flat with boyfriend, claiming the dining room as my office. Try to establish more work/life balance. Constant work in process. Buy my dream desk that looks just like the one I had on my Pinterest vision board, and fills me with inspiration. Readings and soul blueprints take off. Realise I am waiting for Hay House to respond before I write the book. Decide, F it, who cares if they publish me I just need to write. Write for 4 hours every day in Regent’s Park Rose Garden. Find myself an editor and decide that maybe I’ll self publish. Will sleep on it and decide tomorrow. Get the call from Hay House. Cannot believe it!!! Write manuscript (while fleeting between feeling so grateful, inspired and shit scared). Hand in manuscript. Have awesome mentor clients. Have full circle moment at desk.
The dots only join in the end. Do what you love no matter how much sense it makes and no matter what people around you think. The only way we can light up the world is by following what lights us up (your soul knows the way, don’t doubt it). When we follow what lights us up day after day we find ourselves in a life that is completely aligned to our soul and it feels so incredible! Here’s to all the dots that join and the courage that whispers to us: “leap”.