And that is rebirth

Having my son ripped my heart wide open.

And it almost destroyed me. But creation cannot exist without destruction.

It wasn’t the physicalness, Goddess knows that was intense. It was my heart.

 

In those first days postpartum, each time I entered the room, a wise woman friend would announce ‘here comes the Goddess’.

I squirmed and scoffed it off at first with my unwashed hair, cracked nipples and nervous system that was on high alert for potential threat and danger.

But then through the morning light,

I saw my son. Like really saw him.

The soul who had arrived.

And for a fleeting moment that felt like an entire lifetime, I could see that she was right. To him I was THE Goddess.

Creator. Bringer of Life.

And in that moment I was a goner.

How could I possibly receive the amount of love that he was directing towards me?

It couldn’t be humanly possible to hold that amount of love inside one human heart.

And it made me think, if he came in with that amount of love then maybe I did too. Maybe we all did.

Were our mother’s able to receive it?

Is any mother able to fully receive the soul who has arrived earthside?

Is that the original wound?

And then love did what it knows how to do best. It brought up everything that was unlike it. And each time it does we get to decide to either put it in a box and throw away the key. Or keep your heart open and let the love of the world blast through you.

The first is easier, it’s what we were taught to do. The latter will rip you to smithereens. But if you let it break you,

it will also remake you.

And that is rebirth.