An unexpected start to the year
I really hope you have had a peaceful start to your year. The new year has dealt some unexpected turns in the road for me. I want to flag that I am sharing on a sensitive topic in this email before I begin.
In September we arrived in Australia to see family we had been separated from for so long, and around the same time found out I was pregnant. It felt like very special timing and we started planting new seeds for the new life and the new year ahead.
Then, on Christmas morning we received the early signs we were losing the baby. A week later, it was clear we had. I didn’t expect it to be so physical. Our focus went from birth to death in a single moment. These two things seemingly opposite yet actually so close to together. These two thresholds that we all share.
I questioned sharing about this as only our inner circle knew we were pregnant, I decided to as it is such a silenced experience and one that is so misunderstood while also being so very common.
The same week the baby was conceived, I received guidance on the direction of my work based on a vision I had had five years earlier. We made a detailed plan to spend 2022 creating that before the baby came. At the time I wondered if it was the soul of my baby that came here to co-create that with me. Maybe. I will now birth that work regardless.
Then on new year’s day as we were making plans to return to Glastonbury to heal, Craig tested positive and so we had to isolate from him. A couple of days in, Sunny and I got it too and so are reunited and in isolation.
We have been sleeping a lot, resting in this space and doing our best to move through the unexpected waves.
I am not who I was before. I am not who I will soon be.
Parts of me, of us, are forever dying.
No idea how long we have with each other.
A breath, a season, a year, a lifetime.
Ever changing beings living in an ever changing world.
Forever invited to die and face death while still fully living.
These are the death mysteries.
These are the life mysteries.