In 2012 I decided to spend the Christmas period in London on my own. It was the worst and best Christmas ever.
Pretty much every single one of my friends had fled the city for amazing loved up Christmas plans, leaving me reenacting that scene in Bridget Jone’s Diary clutching a bottle of red while singing “All by myself”.
Normally I’d head home to Sydney, but this year my heart urged me to say put. I’d spent the best bit of the year and a half prior doing all that I could to heal a broken heart and shaking this deep feeling of aloneness after the end of my relationship and the loss of two dear friends.
In the weeks creeping towards December I realised that my whole life I had looked to other people to feel love. I didn’t believe I could be “in love” without being in relationship. But I didn’t want my love to be dependent on another person or thing again. I was on a mission to find a way to feel love all on my own, regardless of who was in my life.
So I embraced my two weeks alone (and the extreme gift of being single), vowing to feel and listen to every little bit of guidance my heart had for me. Sitting in my aloneness (and praying a lot) I allowed my heart to lead me home. I even started my online business for reals during those two snowy weeks from my teeny tiny studio in Notting Hill!)
LADIES OF THE LIGHT PODCAST:
* Heartbreak and Higher Love *
The other night I was at dinner with my friend Jayne Goldheart (Kundalini teacher, Qoya instructor and total lady of the light). As we started sharing our stories of heartbreak, healing and higher love, we found that there was so much that we wish we knew then… The following day Jayne’s face kept popping up in my meditation and so after a few texts we followed the guidance and recorded this podcast (listen in the player above or download as an MP3).
If you are cradling a broken heart or know someone who is, we recorded this one for you. And if you’re feeling a bit “All by myself” this Christmas, remember… often the worst bit comes right before the best bit, sometimes we just need to be cracked open first.